ICF-approved coach training to become a business coach, complete life coaching certification, executive coach certification, or career coach certification includes creating awareness of language, meaning, and the resulting behavior. One of the most powerful skills developed in quality coaching certification is recognizing limiting language and using proactive language.
Each person is their own best expert so the job of a coach is to ask questions so the client explores possibilities and make choices. During coaching, people often discover they are holding themselves back.
Consider a few examples:
When someone says ‘I’ll try,” how likely is their success? The word ‘try’ actually tells their brain not to worry, that they don’t really have to do it.
Instead, saying “I will” or “I choose to” or “I want to” supports follow-through.
When someone says, “He makes me mad,” they are giving control of their own feelings to someone else.
Instead, saying “I am mad when this happens” means retaining ownership of feelings and affording the opportunity for a real conversation.
When someone says, “they will never understand,” the absolute statement blocks the possibility of understanding.
Instead, saying “I want to be understood – how will I make that happen?” creates a focus on the possibility and the action steps.
Coaching is a partnership focused on the success of the client, and a powerful tool for a coach to use in supporting their clients success is to recognize limiting language, ask questions to open the thinking, and model effective language. Learning the information, practicing it, and applying it effectively takes time and is worth every bit of it!
For now, let’s start with a challenge: This week, really listen to what people say and how they say it. Ask yourself if it seems positive or negative. Ask yourself is the conversation is stuck on the problem or exploring solutions. Ask yourself what the likely outcome is based on what you hear. Then, evaluate how the way it was said influenced your perceptions and the results.
What are your observations?
Each person is their own best expert so the job of a coach is to ask questions so the client explores possibilities and make choices. During coaching, people often discover they are holding themselves back.
Consider a few examples:
When someone says ‘I’ll try,” how likely is their success? The word ‘try’ actually tells their brain not to worry, that they don’t really have to do it.
Instead, saying “I will” or “I choose to” or “I want to” supports follow-through.
When someone says, “He makes me mad,” they are giving control of their own feelings to someone else.
Instead, saying “I am mad when this happens” means retaining ownership of feelings and affording the opportunity for a real conversation.
When someone says, “they will never understand,” the absolute statement blocks the possibility of understanding.
Instead, saying “I want to be understood – how will I make that happen?” creates a focus on the possibility and the action steps.
Coaching is a partnership focused on the success of the client, and a powerful tool for a coach to use in supporting their clients success is to recognize limiting language, ask questions to open the thinking, and model effective language. Learning the information, practicing it, and applying it effectively takes time and is worth every bit of it!
For now, let’s start with a challenge: This week, really listen to what people say and how they say it. Ask yourself if it seems positive or negative. Ask yourself is the conversation is stuck on the problem or exploring solutions. Ask yourself what the likely outcome is based on what you hear. Then, evaluate how the way it was said influenced your perceptions and the results.
What are your observations?
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